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Time For My New New Year's Eve Tradition: Watching Miami Connection!
It's that time of year again! Time to enjoy New Year's Eve with my annual ritual, by ordering up a pizza and sitting down to watch one of my all-time favorite bad films— Miami Connection! It's quite...
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Celebrity Death Catch-Up
2020's been a miserable year for pretty much everyone on Earth. But it's been especially brutal in the area of celebrity death. Sure, it's a given that every year's gonna see its share of famous...
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Good Riddance To Bad Rubbish!
Ugh, good riddance to this corn-studded turd of a year!Jesus Christ, has there ever been a year worse than 2020? OK, so 1346— the year the Black Plague started— probably has it beat, but 2020's...
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Welp, That Was Quick!
So much for hoping 2021 would be a better year than its predecessor!Whoever had "Violent Insurrection Overthrows U.S. Government" on their 2021 Bingo card, come on down and get your prize.
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The Mandalorian Season 2, Episode 8: The Rescue
It's the Season 2 finale of The Mandalorian!This week's episode has generated near-universal praise from fans, who claim it's managed to singlehandedly "save Star Wars." Eh, I dunno about that.In...
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R.I.P. Family Video
Oh, 2021. We had such high hopes that somehow you'd turn out better than your bastard predecessor. Amazingly, even though you're barely two weeks old you've found a way to be even worse.This week...
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Happy Birthday To Betty White!
Wow, some actual good news for a change. Happy Birthday to national treasure Betty White, who turns 99 years young today!Wow, she was quite the looker back in the day! Seems like she's been elderly for...
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Our Long Orange Nightmare Is Finally Over!
Thank the Christ Baby Jesus. Our long, and I do mean lonnnnng, national nightmare is finally over. "President" Murder left the White House for the last time today. Never again will we have to look at...
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Happy Birthday To The Doctors!
Happy Birthday to actor Tom Baker, who turns 87 years young today! Baker's arguably the best Doctor of them all, as he played the role for a whopping seven seasons, from 1974 to 1981. He brought a...
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Like A Persistent Neighbor That Won't Take The Hint And Leave, Jake From...
I swear to Thor, if I see one more Jake From State Farm commercial on TV this week, I'm gonna declare him as a dependent on my tax form.Holy Shitballs, how many times can a corporation advertise their...
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Dammmmmn, 2021, Slow Down!
Man, I thought 2020 was a brutal year for celebrity deaths. Hah! So far 2021's been even more merciless! Jesus Christ, 2021! It's only January. You'd better pace yourself or you're gonna get side...
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Hey Kids, Cartoons! Violent, R-Rated Cartoons!
Just a reminder that there was a time when the cocaine flowed freely in Hollywood, and network executives thought it'd be a great idea to take violent, R-rated movies and turn them into kids'...
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How Refreshing!
Well here's something we haven't seen in a lonnnnng time! A First Lady who doesn't shudder at the mere sight of her husband and angrily recoil from his slightest touch!Why, it's... it's almost as if...
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Aunt Pearl
Last year the (TRIGGER WARNING AHEAD!) Quaker (TRIGGER WARNING ENDED!) Oats Company announced that in the interest of cultural sensitivity, they were retiring their highly offensive (TRIGGER WARNING!)...
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Who Were Those Masked Men?
I don't know 'bout y'all, but this whole pandemic business is wearing me down. It's been going on for an entire year now, with no end in sight, causing record deaths, unemployment and forclosures. And...
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Resident Alien, Season 1, Episode 1: Pilot
Welcome to the first episode of Resident Alien!I'm a bit behind on this review, as I think they've already aired four or five episodes at this point. The reason I'm so late is because I just found out...
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Frosty Got Back!
A few weeks ago I bought this little solar powered snowman, that "dances" when exposed to light. Imagine my surprise today when I turned him to face the window and noticed he has a little snowman ass!...
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If It Ain't Broke...
From the If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It Department: I was tooling around online a couple days ago, and came across a poster for Disney's The Mandalorian. Something about it seemed awfully familiar,...
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Resident Alien, Season 1, Episode 2: Homesick
This week on Resident Alien, Harry steps up his attempts to "silence" Max for good (!), and is unprepared for the emotional side effects of taking a human form.This week's episode also ramps up the...
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Cruz Contol
This past weekend at the annual CPAC conference (which I think stands for "C*nts, Pricks And Cocks"— I may be wrong about that though), bloated plutocrat and everyone's favorite human Ted Cruz gave a...
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